The Hopeful Power of Pausing for a Moment

On a hot and sunny Saturday last month, I went to an art fair. There was a small town of white pop-up tents with a hundred fifty artists, sharing paintings, glassware, ceramics, jewelry, photography, and more. I went all by my-hermit-self so I could take in every last thing in my own time -- to look look look.

I don’t know about you, but post-pandemic, I feel as though I’m recovering from sensory starvation. I hadn’t realized just how starved my senses had been until, sometime in the middle of the pandemic, months since I’d been inside any public building besides the grocery store, I went to give blood at the Jewish Community Center. Walking along the hallways, I ran into an art display – and gasped. There were etchings, a bronze sculpture of Noah’s Ark, and a multi-media representation of the days of creation:

After months of my senses consuming the sensory equivalent of bread, water, and peanut butter, here was a feast. My eyes swallowed my head.

The art fair this weekend felt like the same way. I didn’t love every artist, but the chance to visually explore such a panoply of the unexpected and unforeseen was pure delight. I bought a few pieces – including a woodcut and a little oil painting (artist link).

Trev Grabill

The oil painting of the kayaker is the one I can’t stop looking at.

Valerie Bielski

As I walked out of the fair with this painting under my arm, a volunteer at the gate greeted me and said, “Thank you! Thank you for buying something and supporting the artists!”

I found myself saying, “You’re welcome! I’m not even sure why I bought this painting – I don’t even kayak!”

A white man of a certain age was walking nearby and decided to explain my choice to me: “Well, kayaking is a pretty exciting sport that many people seem to be drawn to these days.” Reader, I did not reply.

I did not buy this painting because I have a hidden longing to become a kayaker.

Then why? Well: the chunkiness of light and shade in the water. The orange slice of boat. Those square arms. The paddle, like a crack in the picture.

In it, I see a person in movement, pausing. Stopping the journey to look around for a moment. Ceasing that effort of paddling to notice, take a breath, and remember: “Oh, I am here.” Feeling the boat moving, the water moving, the air moving, the breathe moving, the seconds passing. A moment of both motion and of rest.

I love these pauses in the midst of the movement of life: the seconds where nothing happens in between other things. A single moment can contain a glimpse of the whole universe of existence. A glimpse of the fullness of the living God. A sacred, tiny-but-infinite space.

These are hard times we are living in. But small actions make a difference: a short pause can make a space for the love and mystery of God, the shocking beauty of nature and art, a generous gesture to another person, a deep breath to steady the heart, a donation - no matter how small - to organizations that work for what you care about, and yes: a phone call or email to your Congresspeople about what you care about is logged, noted, and makes a difference. (It really does.)

Small moments fuel us to keep going, to do what needs to be done. An art fair, a moment to breathe, a strawberry, a verse of a Psalm. An action, a donation, an email, a call. Joy, hope, and momentum are not monoliths, they are made up of moments. Thanks be to God.

Heidi

SOME WORDS I LIKE

"Maybe, when it seems like God is too quiet, it's because God is listening." --A colleague, who gave me permission to share

“Stand still. But not like Lot’s wife.” —Esther de Waal, in a talk on stability (video), St Paul’s, London, May 19, 2013

WHAT I’M READING

The Annotated Mrs. Dalloway, by Merve Emre. Full of notes, stories, history, photos, images, maps, and everything you could ever want to know about how Woolf wrote this book.

Too Many Books — I’m finishing the first draft of the last book of Everyday Connections (Year B, Fall 2023), now gleaning for quotes to include at the end of each week’s reflections (“Further Connections”). So, I’m in and out of dozens of books, looking around for interesting ideas, topics, and words. Want to gawk with me at this ridiculous (but fun) number of books? At the end of this newsletter, if you want, you can browse a list of books I’ve been poking around in, most of which are lying on the floor in two rooms in my house right now. Some are borrowed from the library, some I bought full price, some I bought used, some I have owned for years.

FOODS THAT ARE BRINGING ME JOY

Coconut Chocolate Ice Cream — (Trader Joe’s) Very VERY creamy and chocolatey, and vegan. Still full of fat and sugar, but you can pretend it’s good for you. My new favorite thing.

Garden Tomato Soup in a Jar — (Trader Joe’s) Delicious, easy, healthy little meal – will fill you up with a little cheese on the side, a piece of toast or some tortilla chips.

Homemade Caesar Dressing — Folks, this makes everything taste amazing and I don’t even like Caesar dressing. The creaminess of the mayo, the brightness of the lemon and Dijon, the bite of a little garlic = heaven on a salad, with cut up raw veggies, drizzled over roasted veggies, or on a slice of pizza. This is from Jenny Rosenstrach’s amazing new cookbook, The Weekday Vegetarians. (New favorites: Three Bean Chili with Chocolate, Glazed Mushrooms and Tomatoes with Polenta, Artichoke Quiche with Mozzarella)

Homemade Caesar Dressing

1 small garlic clove, minced

½ teaspoon Dijon mustard

1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice

1 tablespoon white wine vinegar

¼ extra virgin olive oil

2 heaping tablespoons mayonnaise

3 tablespoons grated Parmesan

Salt and pepper, to taste

Puree all ingredients except cheese thoroughly in a blender or food processors, then add the cheese with just a few pulses to incorporate. Or, by hand, mix all ingredients – garlic and cheese minced fine – in a jar and shake until combined. Season with salt and pepper to taste. (p. 204)

A SILLY THING THAT MAKES ME HAPPY

The Best Cheap Plastic Sandals — While I hate to fill the world with more plastic junk, as someone who is always looking for comfy, cute shoes toe room, I feel compelled to share these. Ten dollars a pair at Target (mostly on the website). I have three pairs now and wearing them is like walking on the clouds of heaven for me. Some readers may think they are quite ugly, it’s fine: I’m ridiculous and happy to let the world know.

And finally, for those who got this far: (if you have suggestions or favorites on the list, let me know!)

POSSIBLE QUOTE SOURCES FOR EVERYDAY CONNECTIONS ON MY FLOOR

In no particular order:

Womanist Midrash, Wil Gafney

Deep is the Hunger, Howard Thurman

Good Christian Sex, Bromleigh McClenaghan

North America, Anthony Trollope

Enduring Grace: Seven Women Mystics, Carol Flinders

Latina Evangelicas, Loida Martell-Otero, et al

Liturgies from Below, Claudio Carvalhaes

Grateful, Diana Butler Bass

Our Father: Reflections on the Lord’s Prayer, Pope Francis

The Fire Next Time, James Baldwin

The Queer Bible Commentary, Deryn Guest, et al

Acts, Willie James Jennings

God is Not a Christian and Other Provocations, Desmond Tutu

This Bridge Called My Back, Cherrie Moraga and Gloria Anzaldua

Places I’ve Taken My Body, Molly McCully Brown

The Disabled God, Nancy Eiesland

Shalom and the Community of Creation: An Indigenous Vision, Randy Woodley

Jesus Freak, Sara Miles

Tattoos on the Heart, Gregory Boyle

Just Love: A Framework for Christian Sexual Ethics, Margaret Farley

The House on Mango Street, Sandra Cisneros

Red: Passion and Patience in the Desert, Terry Tempest Williams

Holy Spirit, Stanley Hauerwas and Will Willimon

The Scandalous Message of James, Elsa Tamez

My Body is Not a Prayer Request, Amy Kenny

Systematic Theology, Katherine Sonderegger

Journey by Heart: A Christology of Erotic Power, Rita Nakashima Brock

The Art of Death, Edwidge Danticat

Just a Sister Away, Renita Weems

Heart of the Cross, Wonhee Anne Joh

Struggle to Be the Sun Again, Chuny Hyun Kyung

Praying Our Experiences, Joseph Schmidt

Lose, Love, Live, Dan Moseley

Abuelita Faith, Kat Armas

What Were You Arguing About Along the Way? Pat Bennett

Back to the Well, Frances Taylor Gench

This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage, Ann Patchett

A Rhythm of Prayer, Sarah Bessey

A Hidden Wholeness, Parker Palmer

All About Love, bell hooks

The Sentence, Louise Erdrich

Bound for the Promised Land: Harriet Tubman, Kate Clifford Larson

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, Maya Angelou

Long Quiet Highway: Waking Up in America, Natalie Goldberg

The Defiant Middle, Kaya Oakes

Belonging: A Culture of Place, bell hooks

In the Shelter, Padraig O’Tuama

Reimagining Spirit: Wind, Breath, Vibration, Grace Ji-Sun Kim

Invisible, Grace Ji-Sun Kim

The Wounded Heart of God, Andrew Sung Park

Song in a Weary Throat, Pauli Murray

Beloved, Toni Morrison

Disquiet Time, Jennifer Grant and Cathleen Falsani

Women of the Bible, Tikva Frymer-Kinsky

On Job, Gustavo Gutierrez

Braiding Sweetgrass, Robin Wall Kimmerer

Julian of Norwich: Selections From Revelations of Divine Love, Mary Earle

Mujerista Theology, Ada Maria Asasi-Diaz

Sisters in the Wilderness, Delores Williams

Watch for the Light: Readings for Advent and Christmas

Music of Eternity: Meditations for Advent with Evelyn Underhill, Robyn Wrigley-Carr

A Little Daily Wisdom: Christian Women Mystics, Carmen Acevedo Butcher

Following Christ: A Lenten Reader to Stretch Your Soul, Carmen Acevedo Butcher

One Minute Wisdom, Anthony de Mello

Writing Down the Bones, Natalie Goldberg

Tell Me A Story, Daniel Taylor

Sandhu Sundar Singh: Essential Writings

The Last Report on the Miracles at Little No Horse, Louise Erdrich

Back to the Well, Francis Taylor Gench

Love is the Way, Michael Curry